Glenda's coach was due to arrive just outside the shop my mum was working in. This was bad enough in itself as I had told my parents I was away at a weekend party. I certainly didn't want mum to catch me greeting an older woman and following us back to the hotel. To make it worse, the coach was  to arrive ten minutes before my mum was due to leave work for the day. Glenda was already five minutes late - I was feeling extremly nervous.

A few minutes later and there she was, walking over to greet the 18 year old she wanted to leave her husband for.

We quickly made our way to the hotel and giggled like school kids when we realised the hotel manager didn't believe we were really mother and son!

 

Alone in a cheap hotel room with a woman old enough to be my mum, I realised just what I was getting myself into. Glenda asked for a hug and it felt awkward. I wasn't used to open displays of emotion and those phone conversations we had ran though my head. Judging by the way she held me I knew she wasn't going to give up.
It was obvious she had traveled all this way to conquer the shy teenager in her arms.

I broke away and started making plans for the weekend. Talking quickly, trying to distract her from any romantic feelings she may have had.

We planned to go out of town for a meal to avoid bumping into my parents or any of their friends.
But in what seemed like no time at all, the train was taking us back into town - back to the hotel.

 

Luckily I had booked a room with two single beds. Glenda's idea of moving the beds together alarmed me and thankfully the beds were bolted to the floor.
So there we were, both in separate beds, talking about everything and nothing until the early hours of the morning.

She kept asking to come into my bed, for a kiss, for a cuddle and I kept reminding her she wasn't my type.

Any confusion over my sexuality was laid to rest during that night. I had a good looking woman eager to make me into a man and I felt nothing.

When she knew she couldn't have what she wanted she started crying and I knew the tears weren't real - she was hoping I'd feel guilty and give in, but it didn't work.

 

I didn't sleep that night and although nothing happened between us I felt I had grown up in the hours I spent in that room. I knew who I was, but I didn't like it. I would have given anything to sleep with her and feel like a 'normal' guy.

 

The next day was spent running around town, showing her the sights and hiding at the sight of anyone I knew.
All in all we had a good time, although there was a constant air of longing from her and one of embarrassment from me.

When It was time for her to go I felt mixed emotions. I had made a good friend, but I was wary of where the friendship would take me.

As I walked home alone I remembered the lies I had told my parents and wondered if I could go home as though the weekend hadn't happened.

As soon as I got in the house I was summoned to the front room. They suspected. Dad pointed out that it was funny that I disappear for a few days and Glenda doesn't call once. I stuck to my party story. I knew if I told the truth they would think something was definitely going on between Glenda and me.

 

Later that evening Glenda phoned. As much as I liked her, I was secretly hoping she'd never call again.
She told me she had a wonderful time and she thought we were soul mates. She had decided to leave her husband. Our weekend had made her realise she would be better off on her own.
I realised with her husband out the picture, the door was open for me.

 

What had I got myself  into?

I had a woman crying for my affections on the other side of the country, I had no job and my father constantly breathing down my neck about it, as well as the fact that my mum and dad were finally splitting up.

Mum wanted a divorce - she told me and emma, but she hadn't told dad yet. We all dreaded the day she told him and although we wanted them to go their separate ways, we didn't want mum to have to tell him herself.

 

The only thing that I thought would get me out the situation I was in was to find a man, move in with him and live happily ever after.
But I didn't know how to go about it. I didn't know anyone else who was gay. I felt isolated and very lonely.

There was one guy I did fancy and I followed him around like a lost sheep. Turning up at his house wearing my sunday best and reeking of cheap aftershave. But he was only interested in me so he could get closer to Vicky.

At nights I would pray for god to send someone to me, but of course there was no miracle.

 

As a last resort I took up an offer from one of my pen pals in Yorkshire, of moving to her neck of the woods and starting afresh.
I told everyone I would be leaving in a few months, including Glenda.
She didn't take the news very well, but gracefully offered me a small holiday - no strings attached, staying with her and her kids before I moved even further away.

 

I accepted and planned on staying for two weeks thinking a break would do me good before having to move.

 

My mum wasn't happy with the idea, dad warned me against going saying I was asking for trouble from Glenda's husband. I think he was afraid that her hubby would come knocking on his door and take things out on him. But as I kept protesting, there was nothing going on between us - we were just friends and anyway I was soon to move to Yorkshire.

 

I think Glenda knew that after she was through with me I wouldn't make it to Yorkshire.

And she would be right.